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Ships within 48 hours · Estimated delivery Jul 11 - Jul 16
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Description
The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)A conflicted villain and his unstoppable bride form the realms most chaotic alliance in this riotously funny dark romantasy perfect for fans of Assistant to the Villain, but darker and spicier. Whats mine stays mine. Step One: Kidnap someone cute. Step Two: Force her into marriage. Step Three: Try not to catch feelings. When Dark Lord Kazimir Blackrose kidnaps Lady Arabella for a forced marriage, he expects an obedient, trembling bride. What he gets
A conflicted villain and his unstoppable bride form the realm’s most chaotic alliance in this riotously funny dark romantasy perfect for fans of Assistant to the Villain, but darker and spicier.“What’s mine stays mine.”
Step One: Kidnap someone cute.
Step Two: Force her into marriage.
Step Three: Try not to catch feelings.
When Dark Lord Kazimir Blackrose kidnaps Lady Arabella for a forced marriage, he expects an obedient, trembling bride. What he gets is a knife to the throat and a furious woman with demands of her own. He may need her heroic bloodline to achieve ultimate dominion, but she’s not about to make this easy for him.
Arabella has already survived her father’s tower prison and a lifetime of being treated like property. Getting abducted by the realm’s most notorious villain is just another Tuesday. If she must be married to the infuriating (and infuriatingly attractive) Dark Lord, she’ll do it on her terms: freedom within his fortress, hands strictly to himself, and complete honesty about his plans.
But when those plans go awry, Kazimir faces his most terrifying challenge yet: he must date his own wife. Between magical training sessions, playing golf with the eyeballs of his enemies, and aphrodisiac dinners gone spectacularly wrong, his attempts at villainous seduction are failing at every turn.
As Kazimir and Arabella navigate magical explosions and jealous exes, they discover a far more terrifying prospect than war or magical catastrophe: They might actually be falling for each other.
This dark and sexy fantasy romance is perfect for readers who love: a morally gray antihero (who stays that way); a strong heroine who embraces her dark side (she doesn’t need rescuing, thanks); touch her and die trope; hilarious, wicked banter and sizzling spice; one bed/forced proximity; kidnapped bride/forced marriage; and dark humor.
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4.1 ★★★★★
Based on 591 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
dogs favorite!
our dog can't get enough of these. we have to buy them in packs like this since they end up in places unknown. they don't get torn up and will last forever!
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Reviewed in the United States on May 12, 2026
★★★★★ 3
Very lightweight and not good for fetching
These balls are very lightweight. They feel like styrofoam. I try to use my Chuckit Chucker to throw them but they don't go very far and the wind will drift them in another direction as they are so light weight. Then, when my dog's saliva covers the ball, the moisture creates a suction in the launcher and the ball won't exit the chucker at all no matter how much force I put into the launch attempt. I guess they might be good for chewers, but not for throwing, if your dog likes to fetch. They would be good for throwing in the house as they won't damage anything.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 17, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Shockingly impressed
I have a heeler and he destroys everything. I thought I was going to be unimpressed at first thinking these were going to be shredded everywhere, but I have yet to see him destroy these and we have had them for over a month. I definitely recommend for high energy aggressive chewers.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 26, 2026
★★★★★ 1
Cheap and easily destroyed!
I bought these balls because they are advertised as indestructible. Frankly, tennis balls last 5x longer! We breed Cane Corso, and these don’t last even a few minutes with them. Definitely not indestructible and definitely not for aggressive chewers. Very disappointing. The search continues….
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Reviewed in the United States on March 22, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Great balls
So far so good. Belgian/pyrenees mix that loves chewing and destroying toys. He’ll have a hard time destroying these. They are light but carry well once thrown outside. Being light they are good inside on very cold days compared to something like a lacrosse ball. Better than Chuck It brand.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2026
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