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Description
Whip Smart: The True Story of a Secret LifeA dark, wild, powerful memoir about a young woman's transformation from college student to professional dominatrix While a college student at The New School, Melissa Febos spent four years working as a dominatrix in a midtown dungeon. In poetic, nuanced prose she charts how unchecked risk taking eventually gave way to a course of self destruction. But as she recounts crossing over the very boundaries that she set for her own safety, she never plays
A dark, wild, powerful memoir about a young woman's transformation from college student to professional dominatrix
While a college student at The New School, Melissa Febos spent four years working as a dominatrix in a midtown dungeon. In poetic, nuanced prose she charts how unchecked risk-taking eventually gave way to a course of self-destruction. But as she recounts crossing over the very boundaries that she set for her own safety, she never plays the victim. In fact, the glory of this memoir is Melissa's ability to illuminate the strange and powerful truths that she learned as she found her way out of a hell of her own making. Rest assured; the reader will emerge from the journey more or less unscathed.
Binding Type: Paperback
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
Published: 07/19/2011
ISBN: 9780312583781
Pages: 278
Weight: 0.75lbs
Size: 8.40h x 5.40w x 0.90d
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4.8 ★★★★★
Based on 684 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
incredible.
Format: Mass Market Paperback, Format: Mass Market Paperback
i want to recommend this book to every woman i know - but unfortunately, i know soooo many will choose to be offended by its content. it will either strengthen your femininity & rattle your feminist side (i should note that i mean the more extreme, modern meaning), or solidify your feminist ideologies altogether. for me, it was the former. & i'm so grateful. i will say, i think many of the reviews claiming this book is "against women" or "spreading harmful messages" are either taking quotes out of context or the point has gone over their heads completely.
elisabeth has made such incredible points about men & women being equally valuable, but simply having different roles in life. she also exaggerated that mature men understand that they have their role not from earning it, but from assignment & are called to love well. so much so, to lay down their lives. this is no way made me feel "less than" or "oppressed" or "victimized". i would say it did the opposite. it made me proud to be a woman.
personally, i think this book is incredible & i plan to read it several times in the future. men & women are equal in value, but we were not created for the same roles. & that's *more* than okay, it's beautiful. & God's will is the safest place to be. since i tend to have a hard time articulating my thoughts, here are some bullet points.
women are a gift. we were quite literally created to be a helpmeet. we are needed. we are necessary. we have a divine purpose. "i don't want anyone treating me as a person rather than as a woman".
a point made that i find interesting - we often see women on a mission to prove "we can do everything a man can do!" (which we cannot), yet, we don't often, if at all, see men trying to prove they can do everything a woman can do (which they can't).
people often assume that women embracing the more feminine roles is because of the western societal standards. but if that were true, why do we have yet to discover a successful matriarchal society? globally - villages, tribes, etc. have men as the hunters & warriors, & women as the caregivers & nurturers. is it because we were wired that way?
freedom lies in God's will, not rebelling against it. "by being a jellyfish, the jellyfish glorifies its Creator, for by being a jellyfish it fulfills its Creator's command." just like a sailboat sails most beautifully when it sails with the wind, not against it. it's fulfilling it's purpose.
"if she was going to make her way in a man's world, she had to be a lady." LOVE THIS QUOTE SO MUCH.
"you did in fact marry only a sinner, & so did he. it is grace you both need."
"snoring is the sweetest sound in the world. ask any widow." this hit my soul. hard.
"you can't find the meaning of a rose by pulling it apart." was such a fabulous quote in regards to not digging too deeply into such trivial things.
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Reviewed in the United States on July 20, 2024
★★★★★ 5
Become a woman of God
Format: Kindle
Age Appropriate For: 15 and up (some marital themes and matter best for older readers)
Best for Ages: 15 and up
Elisabeth Elliot is an incredible woman whom I have looked up to for years. Though I might not always agree with everything she says, I know whatever she says comes from a heart that is devoted to God and is seeking him. As this year I am spending a lot of time reading about Biblical Womanhood, this was high on my list.
One of the things I loved about this book is that it was from a mother’s heart to her daughter. So much of the advice felt not like so many of the books on the market, but like I was sitting at her beach home listening to her talk. I felt as if I was peering over Elisabeth’s shoulder reading these letters, unfiltered, no nonsense, but with deep beauty.
The advice was so steeped in Scripture without any of the softening that so many books try to do. I loved the way she made fun of feminism and did not shy away from saying things that are politically incorrect with no apology. So many books on womanhood for Christian women (I am finding) almost sound as if they are apologizing for the politically incorrect way God wants women to live. Elisabeth Elliot does not apologize; she shows what a wonderful thing is.
This book really got me to thinking in such a good way. I saw so many areas that I need to allow God to work on me. There is nothing as empowering as seeing a reflection of what you are supposed to be, and I found it in this book.
Elliott does talk about sex in this book. After all, it is a part of life, womanhood, and her daughter was about to be married. I found this chapter one of the more encouraging ones, oddly enough. I think because she talks about it very matter-of-factly but also doesn’t become crude about it. All her advice and encouragement is steeped in biblical principles and personal experience. I didn’t find it awkward, but rather much like a good mother-daughter talk.
I highly recommend this book to women who are trying to live their life aligned with God and the Bible, not the world.
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Reviewed in the United States on June 13, 2016
★★★★★ 5
Must Read!
Format: Mass Market Paperback
Easy Read. As a Christian Woman, I am grateful to have read this before my marriage. The wisdom and advice is something I wish my own mother had given me years prior.
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Reviewed in the United States on December 18, 2025
★★★★★ 5
Highly recommend!
Format: Mass Market Paperback
Fantastic read. Highly recommend. Easily comprehended, but packed with insight.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2026
★★★★★ 4
Clarify Submission
Format: Kindle
The only thing I wish Elisabeth had covered is the concept of submission must be “as unto the Lord”which means not for the woman to submit to sin but to submit to her husband as she would Christ. Wives can submit as long as the husband is obedient to Christ in not compelling a woman to do something outside of the will of God. If the man is in submission to Christ then so is the wife. That is why it is so important for the woman to pray for her husband at all times.
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Reviewed in the United States on March 8, 2026
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